The Official Ramblings

preparations. details. church. flowers. rings. dress. tux. friends. family. excitement. jitters. suspense.

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So I married my best friend

And it was indeed the best day of my life.

As I was getting ready for the ceremony, friends asked me how I was feeling. I couldn’t really describe it then but today it struck me. Other than feeling lucky because my future husband is the kindest man on earth, it really felt like A Levels, level 100. All those months of preparation - and last minute memorisation - would come down to this. The next twelve hours or so would be the result of 11 months of conceptualising, thinking, planning, sourcing, budgetting, executing, bargaining, inviting, calling, messaging, checking, canceling, redoing, explaining and of course praying.

The only difference was that I wasn’t fighting this ‘battle’ alone. There was a legion of people who made the event a super huge success. We’ve given them our thanks during the wedding itself but of course it wasn’t possible to read out each name. Certain medium is better for conveying a certain message than others. This detailed note will last a gazillion years so you and I can read it over and over and over again. Perhaps this should have come earlier, but as long as the paper flowers still appear on friends’ Facebook profile pictures, I think this note is still (relatively) legit.

Here goes.. 

1. Lunch Chief - Josiah. Choosing you to be the Chief was probably the first and easiest decision I made. I just knew that if I had to leave the most precious day of my life in someone else’s hand, it would be yours. I just knew that day would be more than perfect. And it sure was. Thanks for being ever so helpful, Mojo.

2. Wizards of Ambience - Sharon, Cindy, Leong Heng. I was overwhelmed by the number of times you said “Consider it done” to my requests. Thanks for spending literally HUNDREDS of hours planning, budgeting, counter-proposing and making the place so so beautiful. I may be biased but the dining hall had never looked that good. We are forever grateful.

3. Lunch Emcees - Auntie Sharon and Auntie Cindy. I’ve never attended any wedding which was sooo auntified. Thanks for creating a fun and enjoyable atmosphere with your quirks even though at the end of the day I could only manage to eat 2 spoons of white rice, thanks to your bells.

4. Roll Call Ladies - Siew Geok and Chwee Suan. Handling a guest list of more than 500 people is certainly not an easy task. The ‘Yes’, the ‘No’, the ‘Maybe’, the ‘Yes’ changed to the ‘No’, the ‘No’ changed to the ‘Yes’ even as we’re printing the seating map. Thank you for not losing your cool and making sure everyone has a seat. 

5. Entertainment Extraordinaire - Yindy and Aunty Linda. What a programme! Verbatim from our videographer “Must say your friends very happening.” Thank you for putting together such a memorable event for us. Also thanks for planting certain ideas to Benny’s head. Heh.. I knew there just had to be a fairy godmother ;)

6. Gourmet Goddesses - Putu and Inez. I don’t really have taste buds so thanks for being the voice of those who do. It was an emotionally-draining task dealing with a vendor-that-shall-not-be-named so thanks for also lending us your mental support and making sure that everything went well in the end. 

7. Ushers - Ji En, Di, Van, Kim, FK, Phuong, Lan, Marvin, Kenno, Daniel, Han Lin. Thank you for being a fantastic host to our guests. I believe it was first class. And of course, thanks for being a good sport dressing up to the color theme. Di, pink is not that evil on you.

8. MMC and the video boys (Danny, Bob). I noticed you boys were staying up until late at night, staring into a laptop with Ms Yindy. Thanks for helping to produce a very touching and entertaining video. And for the PA Team, thanks for being the reliable team as you always have been.

9. Yanshen - I’m not sure if you remember this but when I helped you get ready for Fame, you said you’d dedicate the last - and winning! - song to me (and my ‘special someone’) and I said “Nooo please don’t say my name on stage.” But you did anyway. So when I was getting married, I thought it’s only right to have you sing at the wedding. Thanks for being so enthusiastic when I asked you and thanks for putting much effort into your performance. It was really really wonderful. Remember us when you’re famous and please sing on our 25th wedding anniversary? :p

10. Students’ Council 6 and 7. My babies, thank you for getting together and putting up a heartwarming performance for us. Some of you don’t stay in the Hall (or even in Singapore) anymore. That must have taken a bit of coordination work.You’ve been a huge part of my life - how not to when you spent your Thursday nights with me. Thanks for bearing with my naggy pep talks and brutally honest comments. There were times I felt like packing my bags and go but seeing you working hard and growing together never failed to turn me around. Thanks for teaching me a thing or two about perseverance, friendship, and fun. I [heart] you all, always.

11. Gangnam Gang. This was definitely the highlight of the day. My heart almost dropped when I saw Benny ran to the front and danced. I could only imagine the patience, dedication and hardwork you put into pulling that off. You could include that in your resume because it certainly is an achievement. Thankyouthankyouthankyou.

12. Music Maestros - Wennie and team (Gavin, Adit, Yindy). Beautiful music, guys! If you’ve seen any picture of me crying, you can take credits for making that happened.

13. Worship Leader - Wei Khong. Thanks for sparing some time for us despite your busy schedule. Thank you for leading such a wonderful worship and making sure the ceremony flows smoothly. Thank you very very much.

14. Church Coordinator - Iris. It probably wasn’t easy to manage the flower girls. But as you said, it could be harder to manage this bride. I hope I behaved well enough on the D-day. Believe me, I tried.

15. Choir - Shan Shan and Voices of Oldham Hall. Mr Benny had a specific vision for our church wedding and that vision had you in it. A beautiful song sang beautifully by a beautiful group of people. Thanks for making it into a reality.

16. Photo corner boys - Johannes, Yo, Ardi, Bandru. Knowing our friends, we’re certain that you must have had a busy time. Thanks for helping us to setup and run the corner. Our guests love the pictures.

17. Dinner Team - Tarn, Alex, Kwek, Yan, Kenneth. Thanks for your help in many many ways. Spending a day choosing flowers and candles and of course making the wedding reception went according to plan. Thanks Alex for a lovely evening and a very very special song. Thanks Tarn for being ever steady to resolve an unforeseen circumstance. It could not have been handled any better :) <3

18. Bridal party - all groomsmen and bridesmaids. Thanks for your support in various areas from planning to transporting heavy props. Special thanks from me to Angie for always being there every step of the way no matter how far she was -  throwing ideas, taking initiatives, helping to source for quotes and buy this and that, making sure my dress is perfect from all angles, and organising a (double) surprise bachelorette party.

19. ACS Oldham Hall family - AHMs, ex-AHMs, boarders, ex-boarders. Having stayed in this Hall for almost 10 years now, I’ve seen so many faces come and go. But the friendship stays. Thanks for simply being a part of our lives. Those who teased us, matchmade us, gossiped about us, prayed for us.. We are who we are because of you guys. 

20. The husband. Thanks for taking a chance in me. I know I am probably not the easiest person to deal with so please know that you have such a huge heart and endless patience. That, or you may have completely lost your mind; you may want to have your sanity checked. Either way, I am very grateful to have you in my life. Nobody cares for me as much as you do. And I think it’s vice versa -  only you know it. May we continue to grow in the Lord and may you continue to kiss my cheek when I’m asleep before you go to work.

So that’s it! I hope I didn’t miss anyone out.

With this, our story here has come to an end. Thanks for reading my ramblings all this while. Hope they have made some impact in your life - made you smile, made you laugh, made you cry, or made you realise that you really are not the weirdest person on earth.

See you in another chapter, whatever it may be.

Just when I was feeling a little overwhelmed with the last stretch of the wedding, I stepped in to Sharon’s apartment and saw this

God surely knows how to pick us up. Seeing them laughing away while folding, cutting and tying hundreds (yes hundreds) of paper flowers is a reminder how this wedding is not just about me and Benny. It’s also about one big family. 

So to our OH family, please know that we can never thank you enough. Thanks for your prayers, for your excitement, and for spending hours and hours of your time and energy being a part of this occasion.

1 September 2012 is your day as much as it is ours.

This should be an Olympic event

  • Today I went to meet my bridal Designer for my second fitting with Angie.
  • F: This is pretty! And pretty heavy too.
  • D: Of course. Do you know how many metres of fabric went to your gown?
  • A: Ten?
  • F: Fifteen?
  • D: Sixty.

Next month

Funny how life turns out.

If you’d tell me a few years ago that I’ll be getting married this year, I’d say you’re crazy. Even up to the time he proposed to me last year, the first words I said were “Are you kidding me?”. Yes, on hindsight, I know that was mean but a marriage was not in my consideration set.

Yet here we are, getting married in a month. And it’s all because I realize that he loves me more than anything else. Not because of his words, but because of the things he does. Like how he would consider all options to only get the best for me, even when buying toilet paper. How he would wake up at 2 AM and insists to pick me up from work. Or how he would immediately leave the office and rush to my side when I fainted. And how he spent the next 3 days taking care of me, sacrificing his sleep to make sure I breathe constantly and best (or worst) of all, cleaning up after my - excuse me - puke. I was in a total mess it’s not even funny. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

And he is not good with his words. So when he said “I want to make this my lifelong goal: to make you smile and to make you happy” I know that he meant it. I might just be the luckiest girl on earth.

So yes next month, I am going to marry my best friend. 

Disclaimer

If you think planning a wedding is a stress-free happy process, I’m sorry to burst your bubble but you can’t be more wrong. Planning a wedding is not all rainbows and butterflies, as much as I might have made it sound that way here. Not that what I wrote were lies, those words are true, but of course there is sweat, blood and tears shed behind the screen.

Peeps, I need to manage your expectation here. I don’t want any of you to get the shock of your life when it’s your turn to plan one and sue me for misrepresentation.

Today, I listed down the things we need to do in the next 31 days. And I literally have 30 checklist boxes to tick. Now, assuming I finish 1 task a day, I would have one day of rest before the big day so I can concentrate on minimizing my eye bag. But of course that’s the ideal scenario. Sadly the world is not ideal because I have a day job which ends late, hostel duty every 3 days, and a Hall event on National Day. Godspeed.

It’s even more painful when you have to face many ‘unforeseen circumstances’. And trust me, there are many. From busybodies who step over boundaries to find out every single detail about the wedding to unresponsive/irresponsible service providers. It saps the energy and patience out of you, sometimes you wish you can just elope.

Well of course it’s not all bad and horrible. Otherwise, why would I do it. And I have many people to thank for making this journey a pleasant one. It might be a little early to express my gratitude but those shared quotes on Facebook say don’t wait till tomorrow to tell someone you love them so here goes the list so far:

1. My semi-husband for being probably the most enthusiastic groom in the world.

2. A group of sweetheart boarders (and one ex-boarder) who are willing to be ushers for the day.

3. Johannes for introducing us to Yosetine who has been churning out our wedding stationeries with unbelievable speed and quality.

4. Emix babes who were excited to help me choose flowers and candles.

5. A very very very special group of Oldham Hall AHMs who are helping us out in various ways. 

6. My Maid of Honour, Angie, who has been offering her help no matter how far she is. From going around Medan to find a vendor, browsing the net to find dinner venue, giving me recommendations for guestbook, to securing a pair of fantastic wedding singers for me. I know I can always count on her no matter what. Now that she’s back in Singapore, she’s there to give me “You’re a super woman” pep talk when I broke down during lunch today.

The list is of course incomplete. This is what I can think of at 1 AM, one hour after I finished work.

Godspeed, Friska. Godspeed.

Goodbye privacy..

Today, our Oldham Hall admin executive, Jenny, sent a few of us AHMs an e-mail with a subject:

"Reshuffling of ur pigeon in the office and you may have new neighbour w.e.f from today so please don’t be surprised".

OK I thought since there will be some new AHMs joining us, we’ll just have to make a little adjustment. I thought it wasn’t a big deal - until I came home and saw what she meant by “surprise”. Because I certainly wasn’t prepared for this:

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!! 

We were only semi-married a few days ago and you made me share a pigeon hole already? This is absurd! I am still trying to accept the fact that I’ll have to share my bathroom - and wardrobe space - with a non-female species in less than 2 months time (gross) so can I please not be bombarded with other sharing stuff RIGHT NOW? Can’t a girl enjoy her last few weeks of freedom? Can a girl’s inbox not be scrutinized by a nosy being? Can a girl not be questioned about her online shopping activity? 

I didn’t sign up for this. Help…

Tomorrow, we’ll be (semi-)married

That’s right, tomorrow we’ll be going down to the Registry of Marriage with our two witnesses, Siew Geok and Tahilala, and our photographer and good friend, Aldrian, to sign the Certificate of Marriage.

People asked whether I’m excited. 

Well, I am pretty excited for the high-tea we’re planning to treat them afterwards. But other than that, all I can think about is forms. Yes, forms. Because from tomorrow onwards, I’ll have to technically start ticking “Married” instead of “Single”. And no longer can I skip the whole Spouse’s Details section. Imagine those extra boxes to fill.

What a hassle.

our cost-benefit analysis is kinda dodgy

  • Benny has won two lucky draws in the past few weeks.
  • B: Been lucky lately. Must be because I’m getting married.
  • F: Get married more often then.
  • B: Good idea.

hang in there, me..

Life’s a little tough when you’re planning a wedding on top of organising a Hall-wide event, watching over 96 girls every 2-3 days, and a job in advertising.

But challenge accepted.